This weekend.
This weekend..
This weekend...
I cannot make myself say it, but this weekend i have learned the hard way that people change, old bullet-proof plans fail and interests switch sides.
And, in fact, what i ran from all my stupid little naive life is true: that we are alone and, therefore, we all live alone.
Everything i stood up for, stupid naive things like friendship, togetherness, goodness, commune interests, all of it was blown away.
I always thought we were together in the war against society. Now i realize that when the odds of winning switched sides so did some of my brothers in arms. And after all the figurative fighting and bloodshed, i found myself almost alone in the trenches.
I do not throw blame, God forbid! I am just upset of this outcome even though i can understand their motivations. For Jesus' sake, we spent years together eating from the same tin can and holding our lives in each others hands during our experiences. i know i probably seem very naive to all of you. But no biggie, society gets us all, in the end. We have to eat, sleep and procreate, right?

The ones that were dreamers once, must fear the day when they look back at their lives and realize that they have abandoned all that they stood for, that they renounced all that defined them as particular people, all their passions and pleasures just so they can "fit in" ...

Wars are not about standing up for something, because there is little left to stand up for nowadays. Wars are not about courage and justice anymore. And i am afraid that the war against society is a losing battle because society plays dirty: giving false hopes, false dreams, false standards and false prophets, all dressed in glittering bright shiny Web 2.0 colors.
And society's normality isn't my own.

I am left with few options...probably the most real on is to head up in the mountains or into the forest and live on whatever God and Nature can spare. And up there, in that terrible silence i can probably hope for the better. Because i gave my best, but it wasn't good enough.
So i beg of you, people, hope for the better and do good. And if nothing can be done, i will await for you, up in the mountains or deep into the forest with a plate of fried squirrel.

PS. i will probably edit this a few times, because i want to say so much about them and us and the Utopian society we were dreaming of...
i can only hope that by shouting this in the void of the internet, it will probably remain alive for thousands of years, because Lord knows, we cannot keep it alive in the real world, not even for a few lousy years. Thanks.